Today, I had a dream. I woke up scared because I dreamt that I was in a final and I had three more finals to go. I think every college student has had or will eventually have a dream or nightmare about finals or something that is really stressful that will cause him or her to just wish they could actually fit in a dorm closet and hide.
College is different and definitely a life changing experience.
It can be described as the place where you discover who you truly are and what interests you in life. In my opinion based on my experience, it was hard. In all different ways. Friends were hard, classes were hard, time management was hard, eating healthy was super hard, and most importantly being able to be in control of every situation was also hard.
First I thought of it as the best way to get away from home. Soon I realized that I missed home very much. I don’t know if it was because I specifically missed the food, my family as a whole, my boyfriend, or my friends. All I knew is that I couldn’t wait to be back. I would count the days left of the semester and I always looked forward to the weekend.
When I started school, I thought that I was going to be free of the high school drama and I was going to get to meet different people and I was going to be able to “do me”, like some people say it. Well, I was wrong. There will always be that little group of people that will be all in your business and judging every word that comes out of your mouth. This is not what I expected from college. I thought that it was going to be different and that nobody was going to mind your business. Besides all the tragedies that happened with some “friendships”, I realized that it was just the beginning and why let myself get caught up in some little girl drama? But yes, it was hard. Throughout my life, I haven’t had much luck with girl friends. Honestly I don’t know why. I remember one day that I called my boyfriend crying because I thought everything was going to be different. He told me to “recognize that you wont be appealing to everyone and that sometimes you will. You don’t have to look for friends, they will come to you”. He was right. I met the most beautiful souls and realized that my few best friends were always going to be there. This was my first struggle, trying to find my little comfort zone.
Besides finding the right people to spend my days with, there was something else that was very frustrating. I think that the classes that I knew I wasn’t going to be the best at, were one of my weaknesses. I knew that I was not the best at math or sciences. This was one of the reasons why I thought I wasn’t going to be the best at it. I am not sure if it was the professor or the class material it self, but I knew that I wasn’t going to get the grade I wanted. This made it a little harder for me: To keep up with everything that was going on around me. Some people say that taking four classes is nothing, but trust me that if you don’t know how to manage your time, you will DIE! My boyfriend says that the word overwhelming became my favorite word once I arrived to college. He might be right but he didn’t understand the pressure I was going through. When I got my first exam back, I started to cry. Never in my life I’ve experience something so awful (school wise). It was the worst grade I have ever seen in my life. It was my accounting class. I had to get my shit together and start acting less like a high school student and more like a college student. I didn’t go to the gym anymore, I started eating super unhealthy and I tried to get my way into all the study sessions or tried to meet with friends that helped me understand the material. The end of the semester was getting near, this meant cumulative finals. I did okay. There are two ways to view the end of semester: 1. Yay, I’m going home in two weeks or 2: Damn these weeks are going to be the worst weeks of my life and the best part is that I need to study my ass off for these finals. Or you can be the one chill student that thinks of both. Study first and then think of your plans after you’re done with finals.
I think that I was all over the place. I would study from 3-6pm and then go to work. I would come back and then tried studying from 9pm-2am. I would obviously get distracted from time to time. I liked that I had something to look forward to and that in order to get there I had to study super hard and get good grades.
At the end of the year, I learned that if you don’t do it yourself; nobody will do it for you. I was really scared at first but then I realized that everything is doable. You just have to deal with the pressure and fear of getting something you won’t like. Dale Carnegie once said, “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” There will never be success without failure. Everyday is a day to learn and grow from the past. Anyone is capable, you just have to want it bad enough.
Hope, this blog was an eye opener to some and see from my perspective how this subject has impacted my life.